Creative Writing, Musings

Last Words

I know a boy who won’t live long. Can’t forgive himself for ruining her song. Last words were harsh, ‘why do you sing that stupid song daily. I’m not a baby. You sound rubbish Okay?!’

He walked away, she knew she was dying. Her little man deserved joy for the time being and that’s why she sang, to soothe his heart.

She shut her mouth, sat down and cried. Her heartbeats slowed, then failed. She died.

I know a father who’s now stopped living. He’s alive on sight but dead inside. Guilt trips him up each time he sees it. Disgusting, it’s the word spat out with tension. Shunned his daughter for her choice of lover. Suicide’s what killed her but in his heart he shoved her.

I know a man who lost his mum.
Never lived it down because his one final word to her, was one too often used. Busy; “sorry mum, can’t come I’m really busy.”

“It’s okay my son.” She said and breathed out. She put the receiver down and within moments expired.

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All around the world last words are being spoken, but when they are spoken the speaker is not aware that they are their last words.

Last words become important to the speaker once the reciever has died. They try to remember what the last conversation was and all too often, there are regrets.

Regret; because it could have been a kinder conversation, because it could have been other words used, because it didn’t need to be said. Because there should have been an apology.

It’s always those dearest to our hearts that receive the wrath of our anger,  because we love them and we know they love us. We become comfortable to say what we think and feel, sometimes regardless of how it’ll make the other person feel.

However, evidently, if it’s left unsolved and then they die, those last words may be haunting for the rest of life.

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Musings, Poetry, The Fine Line

Religion

Now you’ve come along and my world has plunged into yet another turmoil.
The battle between religion, which is righteousness, and freedom, which is faith, has begun again.

They said that Grace is for everyone, but only for the baptized,
And I used to sing along, but then I realised,
That the grace being declared was not free, nor for all,
For most, after a life of hell into hell will fall.
That’s when my singing became a whisper, I wasn’t quite sure
If I wanted my mind to be thoughtless, my life a chore.
But the reward of this was life, heaven when I die…
Now and often there’s the questions, ‘but what if it’s true?’ and “but what if it’s a lie?”

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Creative Writing, Musings, The Fine Line

Fear & Mania

And in a world governed by fear and mania the people were unable to unite.

There were those who instilled fear and used it to their advantage for fear that complete equality would make their lives redundant.

There were those who feared; and of these stagnant people there is nothing worthwhile to say.

There were also those, a minority, who couldn’t care less – que sera sera.

Ultimately, mania overtook them all and so did death.

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Musings

Faith, not logic.

I think a lot about life, not necessarily about the origins of it, but the point of it. I went to do the alpha course last year, it was an amazing experience and I definitely recommend it to everyone (Atheists, Buddhists, Muslims and Christians a like). It’s a place to explore and share ideas and hear other people’s points of views, and there is no obligation to accept anything or even to continue going. In the first week they usually ask you a question: “If you could ask God one question, what would it be?” Initially I couldn’t think of just one question, but when it go to my turn I blurted out, ‘Why did you create us?’ every looked at me with bobbing heads, somewhat in agreement. I continued, ‘Like, you’re God and you don’t actually need us for anything, why did you bother to create us?’
I am a Christian, and I have been for a little while now, about two years. I still have questions like that, and I am not sure there will ever be a direct answer to my question. I’ve looked into what the ‘world’ has to offer as an answer for my creation, and often times I find that the world believes there was no reason, we are because we just are. The church offers the answer, God created us to do his will, to go out and share the good news. Which I find as a slightly more fulfilling explanation, but it still doesn’t answer my question. I think and I reason, had we never been created in the first place we would have never succumbed to sin and there would be no need for the good news, because everything would be good.
I have resolved that ignorance is not bliss, but neither is logic. The Christian faith is not logic, it does not claim to be. Logic is, by definition, reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity. Faith, which is completely opposed to that is, strong beliefs based on spiritual conviction rather than proof. The Christian faith is complicated and possibly almost unbelievable, but it is real. C.S. Lewis, puts it like this:
It is no good asking for a simple religion. After all, real things are not simple. They look simple, but they are not. The table I am sitting at looks simple: but ask a scientist to tell you what it is really made of-all about the atoms and how the light waves rebound from them and hit my eye and what they do to the optic nerve and what it does to my brain-and, of course, you find that what we call “seeing a table” lands you in mysteries and complications which you can hardly get to the end of.’ (Mere Christianity, 1943)
As a Christian you will believe that the Bible is the word of God. Where God says, in Isaiah 55:8-9, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher that you ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” He is telling us that this is complicated; this is not a thing that we could completely understand like a mathematics equation or something we could test and manipulate like a scientific hypothesis.
It is not merely a religion, it is a faith and faith is not logic. It does is not influenced by our biology, nor will it originate in our intellect, it cannot be enhanced by our passions or diminished by our possessions. Whether we know about it or not, whether we understand it or not whether we believe it or not it is the truth. It is real. He is speaking to us as the creator and He is telling us, it does not matter, that we cannot work it out. It is not simple enough for the human mind, it does not matter that we do not understand everything, we don’t have the full picture and we never will, and that’s okay because we can trust Him, He knows it all, and He loves us.
God tells us to ‘walk by faith and not by sight,’ in 1 Corinthians 5:7, because He knows that sight, our understanding, our wisdom, our hypothesis and our theories will not help us get any closer to truth. There is far more to our existence than what we see, feel, think and understand. Oftentimes our sight is limited because we look for truth in one place, in one dimension or one realm, or whatever else you might like to call it. And when entities of another place, realm or dimension are communicated to us where we are we disbelieve it because it is not something that we have seen before. We value our own sight and knowledge too much to consider the Other.
So the Christian faith believes in God as the creator of the world, although our sight and logic gives us reason to question, and when the reality of the faith appears to be complicated to make sense of. We believe because we have closed our eyes and seen beyond the element that is immediately before us. Our faith helps us to acknowledge that there are other realities in life that we cannot see yet and that we cannot understand yet. This is because they are realities created by the Creator, who told us that the way we think will not comprehend His understanding or His reason.
I’m only just learning that in spite of the things I can see, or test, or understand, it is not these things that should influence my beliefs. We live in an age where everything must have a reason or a purpose, where the answer must be understandable or evidenced, where seeing is believing and for many that is where it ends. Not for me. My faith is not a matter of logic.

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