Creative Writing, Musings

Last Words

I know a boy who won’t live long. Can’t forgive himself for ruining her song. Last words were harsh, ‘why do you sing that stupid song daily. I’m not a baby. You sound rubbish Okay?!’

He walked away, she knew she was dying. Her little man deserved joy for the time being and that’s why she sang, to soothe his heart.

She shut her mouth, sat down and cried. Her heartbeats slowed, then failed. She died.

I know a father who’s now stopped living. He’s alive on sight but dead inside. Guilt trips him up each time he sees it. Disgusting, it’s the word spat out with tension. Shunned his daughter for her choice of lover. Suicide’s what killed her but in his heart he shoved her.

I know a man who lost his mum.
Never lived it down because his one final word to her, was one too often used. Busy; “sorry mum, can’t come I’m really busy.”

“It’s okay my son.” She said and breathed out. She put the receiver down and within moments expired.

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All around the world last words are being spoken, but when they are spoken the speaker is not aware that they are their last words.

Last words become important to the speaker once the reciever has died. They try to remember what the last conversation was and all too often, there are regrets.

Regret; because it could have been a kinder conversation, because it could have been other words used, because it didn’t need to be said. Because there should have been an apology.

It’s always those dearest to our hearts that receive the wrath of our anger,  because we love them and we know they love us. We become comfortable to say what we think and feel, sometimes regardless of how it’ll make the other person feel.

However, evidently, if it’s left unsolved and then they die, those last words may be haunting for the rest of life.

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Musings, Poetry, The Fine Line

Religion

Now you’ve come along and my world has plunged into yet another turmoil.
The battle between religion, which is righteousness, and freedom, which is faith, has begun again.

They said that Grace is for everyone, but only for the baptized,
And I used to sing along, but then I realised,
That the grace being declared was not free, nor for all,
For most, after a life of hell into hell will fall.
That’s when my singing became a whisper, I wasn’t quite sure
If I wanted my mind to be thoughtless, my life a chore.
But the reward of this was life, heaven when I die…
Now and often there’s the questions, ‘but what if it’s true?’ and “but what if it’s a lie?”

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Creative Writing, Momentary, Poetry, The Fine Line

Behind Closed Eyes

tears on my pillow
pain in my heart
caused by you

Her words ring loud in my mind as I think about you. Emotions pour forth under my closed eyelids, soaking the pillow on which my weary head lies.

I’ve thought about us, almost daily, through and through. The notion of our unspoken love summoned to come alive but still, until this day, no words have been exchanged and thus my heart continues to cry.

I cannot laugh, I cannot eat, I cannot sleep. Yet I close my eyes. Only as a means to find your face again. But in all my trying I only find that I become Frankenstein! I create a face that is not yours. I create a face that belongs, a little, to all of my lovers; in whose arms I’ve lain to take away that pain that is your absence. I create a monster.

I close my eyes and share moments with you that you will not remember; to force back tears, yet still I cry, for my love will forever remain tender – for you alone, for you right now but you will never know.

I’ll let him go
This time
I will.
I’ll let him go
This time.

The song I sing each night as I make-believe I sleep. I let you go for  mere moments as I travel to the dimensions of dreams. Dreamland we called it. You remember?  The place, each night we’d meet.

While I’m there, sojourneying through this love, I see you clear; as bright as day, more beautiful than a thousand doves. A symbol of freedom, my dear. My one hope now, in all of life, is that of you I might dream and dream forever.

Oh my love, I wish you knew the light you bring to life. But you never will, for I won’t say until the day I die.

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I’m asleep now and this way I’ll stay. In dreamland I have forever locked myself away.

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